2. The Stoic Counselling Process
We know we want to transform our difficulties, and get to a better place in life, but what does this journey look like? How do Stoic counselling and the philosophical path work, in concrete terms? Anyone who contemplates embarking on a journey of self-transformation will understandably seek answers to these questions.
Many people are actually struggling with this very issue in contemporary Stoicism, because what little is left of the ancient literature does not answer this question well - other than in general terms. The basic plan that we are offered is: cultivate the virtues and work on the various disciplines.
Of course this question is crucial since, in the absence of a precise roadmap, the path of self-transformation cannot unfold with clarity, purpose and wisdom. So here we will provide some concrete answers, as to how it all works, by clearly outlining the approach underlying Stoic counselling and philosophical work.
Transforming our existential difficulties, and learning to live “the Good Life,” is a particular type of journey that, over time, takes us to greater and greater well-being. And it requires a sturdy boat, maps of the territories to be traversed, a philosopher-ferryman or guide, and an approach tailored to the unique life circumstances of each traveller.
THE JOURNEY
The Stoic counselling process, and more generally applied philosophical work, follow a same basic direction. We are transforming our existential difficulties, and, in the simplest terms possible, we are travelling from “Life is difficult” to “Life is getting better.” For some, once “better” is established, this portion of the journey is enough, and they then proceed on their own. For others, the journey they seek is from “Life is hard” to “Life is better,” proceeding on to “Life is good.” This is what the Stoic philosophers refer to as “the Good Life” - we are experiencing contentment and living well, in our everyday lives, and thanks to our consistent practice, it has become firmly grounded in us.
You could think of these three stages as islands: Island A (Life is Difficult), Island B (Life is Better) and Island C (Life is Good). Many people who come to the work of Stoicism find themselves at Island A, or somewhere near there (depending upon their unique life circumstances). The journey they seek, of course, is from Island A (Difficult) to Island B (Better) or Island C (Good). Others, among you, are already at Island B (or near there) - things are going well enough in your life, but you want more for yourself, and so the journey you really seek is to get to Island C (Life is Good).
Indeed, as the great Epictetus remarked: the main reason we come to philosophy is because we are not feeling so well, and we wish to get better. This only makes sense.
If you have read this far, then clearly you are interested in just these types of journeys. And perhaps, if you are seeking advanced trainings, you are even interested in travelling beyond to the mythical islands of F (the Force) and L (Logos) …
THE BOAT OR THE FRAMEWORK FOR SELF-DEVELOPMENT
And what about the boat that will take us to the islands? The boat, of course, is our means of travel - the methods, the principles, the skills - which will help you, the traveller, learn the high art of navigation, namely the art of living well (the main process by which we will get to “Better” and “Good”). The guide or philosopher-ferryman will be there of course, as your assistant, to help you learn good navigational and sea-faring skills. In my practice, the boat we will use is a blend of modern Stoicism and powerful methods from psychotherapy, a discipline that contains real riches in terms of how to effectively transform existential difficulties and sufferings.
Stoicism alone, in its current incarnation, is a powerful boat unto itself. However, because it has certain limitations, it is necessary but not sufficient for these journeys (especially for properly travelling to Islands B and C). If these limitations are not properly understood, and remedied, the journey of self-transformation will inevitably be impacted, and we will not travel to our destination in a wholesome manner.
Therefore, an essential component of the boat, or framework, that we offer is a truly modernised approach to the path of Stoicism, including the integration of knowledge from modern psychotherapeutic practice.
Psychotherapy is also quite a powerful boat, in its own right, since it is quite literally the practical art of transforming difficulties and healing sufferings. However, because it is - by design, not flaw - a healing modality, and not a philosophy of life, it simply cannot guide us for certain portions of the journey (especially if we seek to reach Island C and beyond). But when we join these two disciplines, and combine the best of the old (Stoicism) with the best of the new (modern psychology), then we have a very solid and powerful boat. Indeed, one that is truly sea-worthy and able to journey really well to the Islands of “Better,” “Good,” and even beyond, in a manner that is practical, holistic, and wise.
THE MAPS
We know that we wish to travel from Island A to Islands B and C, and we know the overall framework we will use. However, concretely what territories are we traversing, and what maps are we using? In the broadest sense possible, the territory we are travelling, between the various islands, is Inner Transformation. As the saying goes: happiness is an inside job. And mostly, this statement is true (we say mostly because, of course, external factors can also have their own significant importance). Most often, what stands in the way of us reaching Islands B and C, is our own inner baggage. We are not doing alright, or good, in our lives, because we ourselves are not feeling good inside (in our hearts and minds). In other words, we have existential and psychological difficulties, or sufferings, that stand in the way of us living “the Good Life.” Of course, these are different for each of us, whether it is: anxiety, fears, depression, inability to self-realise or “succeed,” low self-esteem, detrimental patterns, existential confusion, daunting health problems …
Many of us are moving through life with difficulty, suffering, or little traction, because we find ourselves in something akin to marshes … the marshes of our inner baggage (incidentally, not made any easier, of course, by external societal conditions). This is the reality of the territory. But for each type of suffering (whether anxiety, depression, low self-esteem), for each portion of the marshes, there are specific maps. In other words, there is a real way out towards inner freedom (from whatever ails us) and therefore towards inner well-being and “the Good Life.” And these maps, out of various specific sufferings, are precisely the central concern of both the fields of Stoicism and modern psychology (although the latter is understandably more developed in the applied psychotherapeutics of healing).
While there are specific maps addressing various portions of the marshes, there are also some universal elements that apply to all the maps. In other words, there is a universal map as well, that underlies the whole process of philosophical work, or transforming inner difficulties and reaching higher potential.
All the specific maps have as their core, universal principle the transformation of our ailments, via the practice of philosophy (and the psychotherapeutic process). The first characteristic of the universal map is therefore the therapeutic nature of philosophy work. One of the main objectives of Stoicism is to help us transform our psychological and existential difficulties, through the various practices of the path.
This is precisely why philosophy was known since antiquity as a “therapy of the soul” and the philosopher was considered a doctor of the soul - a metaphor that still applies to this day.
And it is precisely thanks to the therapeutic process - or the healing of what ails us - that we travel in earnest from Island A (Life is Difficult) to Islands B (Life is Better) and C (Life is Good).
Secondarily, underlying practically all of the human sufferings are learned conditionings of heart and mind. In other words, for most of us, what ails us are injurious emotional, mental and relational patterns that were “bequeathed” to us in our families, schools, upbringings, workplaces, cultures etc. This matrix of conditionings that we unconsciously, and without choice, grew up in (and internalised) is most often what really ails us, and limits, us in life. And therefore at the heart of all the healing maps lies the philosophical and therapeutic process of deconditioning or, if you will, unlearning.
Much of philosophy, as an art of living, and much of the psychotherapeutic process, is about cultivating awareness of our conditionings, transforming them, and freeing ourselves from their detrimental dimensions. Without exaggeration, this constitutes half of all the work done on the philosophical path. As Epictetus used to say: “Only the educated are free.” What he really meant is: only those that decondition themselves (via therapeutic and philosophical practice), become free, and therefore live truly good lives. This is a large portion of the work you should be expecting to do, when you engage on a real path of self-transformation (such as modern Stoicism).
Finally, the other universal element of the map is that a good life - the central aim of the path - is a direct by-product of good living. Certainly we must work at deconditioning and healing the detrimental patterns in ourselves, but we must also cultivate the goodness that is already in us, because this is precisely what leads to greater well-being or “the Good Life.” We do this by working on various practices (or Stoic disciplines) and by cultivating the Virtues: compassion, kindness, courage, justice, temperance, integrity, patience, wisdom. And as we cultivate it, the overall goodness becomes stronger and more prevalent in us, to such as degree that eventually it is the dominant “force field,” directly resulting in overall … good living.
THE FERRYMAN OR THE PHILOSOPHER
When we take on a philosophical path and work at inner transformation, it is necessary, and wise, to be accompanied by a seasoned guide. The philosopher, of course, is just such a counsellor and guide in the art of living well. She or he is an expert navigator, an old captain - like Ulysses - and therefore he knows the geography, the maps and the seas very well: the topography of the islands, the visible and invisible currents, the winds, the pirates, the sirens, the safe passageways ... Indeed having lived on these islands, and travelled these seas, literally for decades, his trade, and calling, has become that of the ferryman, helping exactly those types of travellers who seek to reach the two main islands, “Better” and “Good” - while always remembering, of course, that the destination is the journey.
What are the qualities one should seek in a guide or philosopher? First and foremost: real and extensive life experience, professional expertise, and excellence in the art of navigation, namely the art of living well.
In other words, the philosopher-ferryman is someone who knows the territory very well - not just in theory - but much more importantly in actual practice.
And really nothing can substitute for this (whether degrees, success, status): either one is a seasoned captain, or a philosopher, who has actually travelled the seas himself, and accompanied many travellers on the journey, or one simply is not … because otherwise, truly, this role cannot be properly and ethically fulfilled.
Secondarily, the philosopher should embody many of the qualities represented by the Virtues, and which we ourselves seek to develop more fully: compassion, courage, kindness, integrity, justice, temperance, humility, patience, and, of course, Wisdom. One of the main reasons is that if we are to travel alongside a guide, we wish for this person to lead by example and to also hold an excellent working space - for inner transformation - one precisely imbued with the goodness of the Virtues. Furthermore, we also wish to learn from the philosopher-guide, and his or her experience, how to properly develop these Virtues in ourselves; namely how to live with excellence - since much of our own well-being precisely depends on developing this overall faculty.
THE TRAVELLER OR TAILORING THE PATH
Understandably, what interests most people who approach the philosophical path is self transformation and reaching our higher potential. Like we said earlier, we wish to travel from where we are now to the islands of “Better” and “Good.” Each one of us, who embarks on this journey, is of course a particular type of traveller: we all have our own unique backgrounds, histories, beliefs, conditionings, sufferings, dreams, talents ... As a result of our uniqueness, the philosophical path must necessarily be tailored to us, so that it addresses our specific character, life circumstances and difficulties.
At the heart of the process, therefore lies on-going therapeutic work, and practices, that concern our specific lives. Every week, we are addressing the particular existential issues that uniquely concern us, whether it is: anxiety, family “problems,” navigating the work realm more skilfully, sadness, health matters, making sense of our existence etc. etc. This on-going engagement with self-reflection, self-development, and mindful living, day in and day out, precisely constitutes us walking the path and learning how to better handle our lives.
And it is exactly in this process of philosophical work, of cultivating the daily art of living - as it applies to our unique circumstances - that we are gradually, but surely, travelling towards a “Better” and a “Good” life. This is the dimension of the path that is particular to us.
However, each traveller is not just unique, but she or he is unique just like … everyone else. In other words, while the path must be tailored, it will nonetheless also have universal features that apply to all of us. For example, like we discussed earlier, we all have detrimental conditionings, and therefore all of us will be engaged in the process of deconditioning or transforming our detrimental patterns. All of us need to further develop the good qualities we have in ourselves, or the Virtues, and the same idea goes for practicing the various disciplines of the path.
In other words, while the path necessarily must be tailored to our unique situation, it will also display recognisable, universal qualities that apply to all Stoic practitioners. The self-transformation work will therefore be a blend of “the particular” (your unique life) and the “universal” (the Stoic path of cultivating the “Good Life”).
IS THIS THE RIGHT FERRYMAN, JOURNEY OR TIME TO TRAVEL?
Prior to potentially working together, we will assess whether there is a good match between us, because this isn’t always a guarantee. Understandably, there are a wide variety of travellers, who present many types of existential ailments. The philosopher-ferryman, or soul doctor, is of course expert in existential challenges, but she or he cannot address every single situation (indeed no one can do this). Sometimes, there are people who will be best served by another type of journey or another type ferryman or healer. It’s also possible, for a variety of reasons, that this may not be the right time to take this journey …
So the work always begins with a thorough assessment of your particular situation, to make sure you are the right traveller to take on-board. And of course, you, the traveller, are also evaluating whether this philosopher-ferryman is the right one for you, as is only natural.
In other words, for the journey to proceed in a solid fashion, the match must be a good one for both parties involved.
If it is, then we move forward, and if it isn’t then you will be advised on the best course of action for your path of healing and self-transformation.
DESTINATION OR CONCLUSION OF THE WORK
When we have sufficiently practiced the philosophical path, or the modern art of navigation, and reached your chosen destination, whether “Better” or “Good” (or somewhere in between that feels right to you), then you will have become a solid navigator.
At this point, you can confidently steer your own ship and sail through Life - no matter the conditions at sea - and there is no longer any need of assistance from the Philosopher-Ferryman … You will have done the journey(s) you sought to do, and our work will come to a natural conclusion.