5. Don’t Outshine Your Superiors
It’s an old principle but one which has never gone out of style: don’t outshine your superiors. And this is all the more important if you are yourself a person of ambition or a rising star.
The reason is simple: if you outshine your superiors you commit the serious mistake of appearing better or more confident than them. And, as a direct result, you risk making them feel insecure or vulnerable. Nothing could be more foolish.
Being defeated is hateful, and besting one’s boss is either foolish or fatal. Superiority is always odious, especially to superiors and sovereigns.
– Baltasar Gracián (1601-1658), Philosopher and consigliere
Commit this mistake once, and it may be forgotten or forgiven, although it is best to never start down this road. Repeat the mistake several times and surely things will end badly. Newspapers, and History books, are filled with examples of careers prematurely ended, and even, when the stakes were high enough, of entire lives ruined or cut short.
It is a foundational principle of leadership to know your place and to have the proper respect for rank and power. And all the more so, if you yourself happen to have clearly superior abilities. You must learn to modulate your talents and to display them with care and prudence, always being mindful of hierarchy, of the fragility and variety of human temperaments, and of power dynamics.
How do we not outshine our superiors? It would seem obvious: simply don’t do it. However, matters are not always so straightforward. Sometimes people will commit this mistake inadvertently, simply by being themselves. At the meeting with all the important people, the rising star is very charming, super-intelligent, highly creative … Or, we could easily say, he was rather a little too charming, too intelligent and too creative, especially in the eyes of … his boss.
It is essential therefore to cultivate several leadership qualities, or Virtues, in this instance. Above all, we must cultivate self-awareness. As the Oracle at Delphi says: Know Thyself. Become keenly aware of your qualities, talents, and temperament – do not simply embody and live them out unwittingly. Sometimes, “Be yourself” is just about the worst kind of advice one can get. You must know who you are and how you come across in the world, before you fully enter onto an important stage. Surprisingly, many people with leadership aspirations do not know how they come across, and this lack of self-awareness can be very detrimental indeed.
Alongside self-awareness, we must cultivate several other virtues. As we have been seeing, we must clearly practice the general virtue of prudence when we are in the service of people more powerful than ourselves. Prudence is also essential when we are operating in a large organization with its own particular culture, power dynamics and politics. And prudence is not simply a light-switch that we turn on or off. It is a form of knowledge, of life and the workings of the world, and it is one that we must cultivate and refine over years and years of learning from experience.
He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.
– Aristotle
We must also practise the virtues of humility and temperance, which is sometimes also the subtle art of modulating or restraining our talents, our ego, as well as several dimensions of ourselves that may not be fitting to our position or role (including the classic ones – too much charm, intelligence or humour). And this is not simply a cunning strategy for self-preservation or getting ahead, but it is also about learning how to know our place and to have real respect for the culture, leadership and organizational dynamics of our place of work. As the ancients already knew: before leading, we must learn how to follow.
Finally, it is essential to practice our interpersonal intelligence and to be an ongoing student of human psychology. In order to not outshine our superiors, and better yet, in order to occupy our position well and to make our superiors happy, it is helpful to carry ourselves well and fittingly in social situations, to have a measure of discretion and grace, to treat others with care and respect, and to handle the variety of human temperaments with skill ... The cultivation of all these leadership attributes – self-awareness, prudence, temperance, humility, interpersonal intelligence – not only spare us bad blunders, such as outshining superiors, but they actually help us to become better people and better leaders, so that we can be of higher service and do real good in the world.
Putting it into Practice
Make a regular practice of observing yourself carefully in social and work situations. Also try to notice why, when, and under what circumstances, you intentionally or unintentionally are the center of attention.
If you sense there is an opportunity for you to shine, think very carefully before seizing it, and be sure to strategically share the spotlight with your superior(s).
Only stand out or shine when necessary, or useful, to yourself, and even more so to your superiors and your organization. The old adage “make your boss happy” has never gone out of style.
Be fair and generous in recognising the contributions of others in your projects.
Learn the subtle art of carrying yourself with discretion, care for others, measure, manners, and better yet elegance.